heart to art

My last post was in July 2014 😂
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I am a mother of two now (one more coming in November 2017).
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Life has been good, but not too good. My helper didn't return to KL after a week of holiday. Not that I am complaining or disappoint about, but I feel extra tired with the house chores. All the RM1,400 (the wage of a pinoy helper) worth of chores – I have to do it on my own (fine, sometimes with the help of the busband or MIL). Okay je dak? Biasa lah surirumah, itu lah kerja kau kan, Liana?
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Not that im hating my life now but... I cry in the middle of the night for this temporary phase of life.
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Now that I am 9wks pregnant, I easily feel tired and emotional. I pray 'Can please everyone in the world dont make me sad?' and  'Please let me alone' and 'Please be good to me'.
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Bukan mengeluh. Bukan menyesal.
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I never feel appreciated.
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I deserve a reward (from myself), please say something nice if you see sthg new because I reward nice thing for myself.
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I love you but I hate you.